Legacy

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?

Have you ever heard the Nicole Nordeman song 'Legacy'? I will not leave a genetic mark on this earth after I pass. But what will I leave?

In the last 5 months I have attended two memorial services. Both of these women left behind husbands and an elementary school-aged child. One left this life very suddenly. The other had several months to prepare-- she wrote a blog for her friends, a journal for her daughter, and a series of letters for her husband. I bawled for weeks. Not just for the loss of these great women, but also for all the past, present, and future that their children have lost.

Professor X lost his mother when he was six years old. He remembers almost nothing about her. Not the ways that she hugged him. The classes she took him to. The meals she cooked. The sound of her voice. The Flash is six years old. Marvel Girl is not even four. What legacy would I leave them?

And so, I have decided to periodically share more personal stories. If I were to leave this earth earlier than I had anticipated, would my children remember that I loved Coffee-Coffee-Buzz-Buzz-Buzz ice cream? Would they remember how I tried to organize their lunches, or drank a Diet Coke every day? Would they tell their friends the obnoxious songs I sang in the car, my OCD hand-washing tendencies, my groggy exercise routine? The highs, lows, and mundanes.

How will they remember me?

Teaching Tuesday: Back to School Nightmare

Did I wake up sweating and panicked Monday morning in anticipation of The Flash's first grade year?

Or because of my large number of high-needs students that will be shoved into our over-crowded classrooms?

No. I dreamed that the number of adults in my room was highly disproportionate to my ability to manage and organize.

In my dream, I spent my first hour of the day with an out of control Kindergarten classroom. In spite of the multitude of parents, these five-year-olds were pushing, shoving, and throwing things at their new classmates. When I walked down to my Speech Room, I was overwhelmed to find five adults. One other new Speech Pathologist, several student teachers, and a few other random people trying to get my attention. While the classroom teachers were struggling to keep their students from killing each other, these adults were bickering about what days they would have off and what meetings they needed to attend.

My brain exploded.

I banished the lot of them from my room and sent them into classrooms to help out.

I then ran home in the dark. In a short skirt. Now, at this point my friends in real life will know that this is a dream. I. don't. run. I rarely go out in the dark. I don't do skirts.

I was relieved and horrified to realize that these images were only a dream, but that the first day back to school was still to come....

7 days and counting until I return to work.

They used to hate sand

The first time my son touched sand, he immediately recoiled his feet and started whimpering.

On my daughter's first beach trip, she stayed resolutely on the blanket. Except for occasional taste testing.

Now they dig and explore. The Flash even tried sandboarding.

But Mommy? Whenever I am in the sand, I have flashbacks to high school swim team. Running up and down the San Francisco sand dunes beneath the Golden Gate Bridge. Steep sand dunes. Very steep. Sand in my shoes. Sand in my eyes. Sand encrusted on my hands. Yah, sand and I aren't the best buds.

Is it any wonder that I never did the get the kids a sand box? ;)

caucASIAN

One lunch in college, I sat with my friends in my university cafeteria and listened to my friend comment, “Look. Everyone here is Asian.” Several seconds later, she looked at me and added, “Oops! I forgot that you weren’t Asian!”

On another occasion, a large group of us visited Chinatown to eat. I was indignant when I was singled out and given a fork for the meal. I made a show of placing the clean fork far from me and eating the entire meal with chopsticks.

Most of my college friends were Asian: Indonesian, Chinese, Korean, Singaporean. My boyfriend was Chinese-American. I took a variety of classes on Asian history and culture. I learned some about my friends' cultures by spending time with their families.
Three months after completing my degree, my boyfriend and I married and I took on his Chinese last name. The curious looks began when I walked into doctor's appointments. Even more questions were raised by my students when I started teaching High School classes. People had preconceived expectations of how I would look based on my name, and were surprised by my western European face.

Based on my name, I am targeted by Asian speaking telemarketers and Asian email spam. For several years we got lengthy, heart-felt messages on the answering machine by a Mandarin speaker. The problem was that neither my husband or myself could understand the message. We imagined an elderly parent calling what they thought was their son telling about their troubles at home and begging him to return the phone call. We were never home when these calls occurred, so we were never able to tell the caller they had the wrong number for all these years!

My mom once told me that I only oohed and aahed about Asian babies. I think it was a foreshadow that one day my children would be Asian. My kids are fully Korean. My husband is fully Chinese. Which makes me the "one of these things is not like the others..." in family pictures. But I rarely notice. That's my family. And I know that God designed us to be together.

Although I try to make this blog anonymous, I have been targeted yet again. This blog has been hit daily with Chinese spam for many weeks. Did the spammers know my last name? So I sadly have had to put "word verification" onto my comments. I apologize profusely (I hate that verification) and hope that it will not hinder your comments! I love "talking" to you!

POOF!

Or should I say Puff???



Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Poof! The Super Woman vanished from the net
And frolicked in the summer sun, watching her children get wet,
"Vacationing" Super Woman became her kids' chauffeur,
Driving to swimming, camps and parks and other places I'm sure...

Together they would travel on planes and loaded cars
Guzzling gas and loads of cash, 'stead of filling jamming jars,
Super Woman wondered if she'd e're get time alone,
"Just a few more weeks 'til summer's o're", people heard her moan.

For Flash's six birthday, he wanted a dragon theme
So two days aft a long trip, a party was prepped by the team,
One hot night it happened, Super Woman began to bake,
And Poof! that mighty dragon, became a homemade cake!



Then heads bent in exhaustion, green sweat fell like rain,
The Super team learned to allow more time, or else they'd go insane.
As for birthday gifts, only homemade was allowed,
With less "stuff" in the house, Super Woman could be proud. Oh!

Poof! The Super Woman vanished from the net
And frolicked in the summer sun, watching her children get wet,
"Vacationing" Super Woman became her kids' chauffeur,
Driving to swimming, camps and parks and other places I'm sure...



I painted this 3 foot tall dragon for "pin the flame on the dragon".